Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
These tits shall not be calmed
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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