Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
