The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
