Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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