he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
