You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
