don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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