you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize