My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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