You just made me feel so damn special
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
