This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
