Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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