Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
