i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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