Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
