Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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