He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
