i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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