In the future we'll all be gay
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
