Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
