Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
