You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
