goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
