Capitaan dildo arrescate!
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize