I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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