im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
accomplished twins. life is a go
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
