I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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