Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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