is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Randomize
