): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We had to coat check the pizza.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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