Your tits are I can't wait for
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
