As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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