Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
