people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
There are leaves in my underwear?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize