Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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