I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
