Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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