I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize