nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize