How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
