Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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