If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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