I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
