scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
we made out on top of his cat.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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