i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
