I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
