I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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