the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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