dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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