I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
