Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
