I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
