I think my vagina is haunted
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
