Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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