This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
handjob tips. give me some.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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