I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
being pregnant is like rehab
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
we're so committed to being not committed
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize