i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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